Dear fans, today let’s talk about a problem that gives many parents a headache – kids holding onto their phones all day and arguing whenever studying is mentioned. How should we deal with this situation?

I’ll share a true story with you. The protagonist is my cousin’s 13-year-old son, Xiaolei. This kid used to be the “headache champion” of the whole family: to play on his phone, he would sneak out of bed at 3 a.m., play his mom’s games until he finished them, and then quietly put the phone back; he accidentally deleted his dad’s WeChat chat records three times, which almost made his dad smash the phone; the most exaggerated incident was when a teacher visited and found out that he couldn’t even spell “one two three” correctly in the sixth grade…

1. Four Truths About Children’s Phone Addiction

1. Too Much Environmental Temptation
   Even kindergarten kids are watching short videos now. We adults can’t put our phones down even during meals, so it’s natural for kids to follow suit. Xiaolei’s family used to have scenes like this: dad lying on the couch scrolling through Douyin, mom watching dramas in the kitchen, and the kid trying to do homework while hearing noises from outside – how could he concentrate?
2. Emotional Gaps at Play
   When Xiaolei was young, his parents were busy with their business, and he started staying in a boarding school from kindergarten. Now, back at home, he finds the short videos on his phone much more interesting than his parents’ nagging. Just like my daughter once cried and said: “Mom, you play with me less often than you charge your phone…”
3. Learning Hits a Roadblock
   Many kids don’t want to do poorly in school, but they get stuck at some point. For example, Xiaolei’s English – he couldn’t even recognize all 26 letters, so class felt like listening to a foreign language, and naturally, he wanted to avoid it. It’s like when we adults face work challenges, don’t we also sometimes scroll through our phones to take a break?
4. Wrong Parenting Methods
   My cousin and her husband used to play good cop, bad cop: when mom confiscated the phone, dad would secretly give the kid an old one; when the kid did poorly in exams, the couple would blame each other in front of him. This chaotic educational approach made the kid more and more rebellious.

2. How We Helped Xiaolei Transform (Practical Method Sharing)

Step One: Repair the Parent-Child Relationship First
I had my cousin and her husband do three things:

1. The whole family puts their phones in a “time-out” during dinner time (buy a lockable phone storage box)
2. At least 15 minutes of “exclusive chat time” every day (no talking about studies! Can talk about games/basketball/school anecdotes)
3. Establish a “Family Compliment Day” (every Saturday, the whole family takes turns saying three good things about each other)

Step Two: Set Up Learning “Small Steps”
To address Xiaolei’s weak foundation, we set “reachable with a little stretch” goals:

• English: Memorize only 2 words + 1 common phrase every day (e.g., “Can I play basketball?”)
• Math: Start learning from supermarket receipts (calculate change, compare prices)
• Chinese: Use his favorite “Slam Dunk” manga to practice reading comprehension

Step Three: Establish a “Safe Zone” for Phones
We signed a special agreement with the kid:
After completing study tasks every day, he can freely use electronic devices for 30 minutes
If he meets the target for three consecutive days, he gets an extra hour of gaming time on the weekend
If he sneaks to play on his phone, his parents will keep the charger for the next three days
(Print the agreement and stick it on the fridge, and the whole family supervises its execution)

Step Four: Find Alternative Joys
After discovering that Xiaolei particularly likes playing basketball:

• Take him to a youth basketball training camp on weekends
• Exchange phone time for basketball gear (e.g., save up 5 hours for a new jersey)
• Organize a neighborhood friendly match and let him be the team captain to foster a sense of responsibility

3. The Surprising Changes After Half a Year
Now, Xiaolei is no longer the “phone addict boy”:

• His ranking improved by 10 places in the last semester’s final exams, and the most surprising thing was that he got a B+ in his Chinese essay
• He voluntarily joined the school’s calligraphy club (he said practicing calligraphy helps him calm down)
• Last week, during a family outing, he didn’t ask for his phone the whole time and even taught us his self-invented “outdoor treasure hunt game”

Warm Tips for Moms:

1. Play Dumb Strategy: When the kid teaches you new phone features, take the opportunity to set rules: “Mom can play with you, but we have to finish…”
2. Gamified Learning: Turn memorizing words into a “level-up game,” unlock new levels with over 90% accuracy
3. Family Charging Station: Choose half a day each week for the whole family to “go off-grid” together, cook/play board games/go to the park

In fact, every child who loves playing on their phone has a little kid inside them who wants to be seen. Just like Xiaolei once quietly told me: “Auntie, I used to think the phone understood me better than my parents…” Now, his whole family often sits on the balcony, chatting while looking at the spring couplets Xiaolei wrote – although the characters are crooked, they read “The whole family always smiles, phones are used appropriately,” isn’t this the best testament to growth?

There are no shortcuts on the journey of raising children, but with the right methods and persistent companionship, we can all wait for the day when the flowers bloom slowly. If you have specific questions, feel free to chat with me anytime~ Next time, I’ll share “5 Magical Spells to Make Kids Do Homework on Their Own,” remember to tune in!