I. Introduction: How Should Parents Deal with Children’s Procrastination and Impulsiveness?

During a child’s growth, procrastination and impulsiveness are common issues many parents face. Whether it’s dawdling in the morning or lacking organization in tasks, these behaviors not only affect a child’s learning and life efficiency but can also lead to conflicts between parents and children. So, how can we effectively help children overcome these bad habits? This article will analyze real cases and combine traditional Chinese medicine concepts to provide practical advice for parents.

II. Case Sharing: The Speaker’s Personal Experience

1. Personal Experience:

• Background: The speaker, due to family environment and psychological shadows, was extremely averse to bathing as a child, spending a lot of time applying medication each time.
• Turning Point:
  • Realized the impact of their behavior on others, for example, as a doctor, body odor could affect patient experience.
  • Realized they had grown up and needed to take responsibility for themselves and others.
• Change Process:
  • Gradually developed a sense of responsibility, started paying attention to personal hygiene, and overcame the habit of procrastination.

2. Insights from the Case:

• Responsibility is Key:
  • When children realize the impact of their behavior on themselves or others and develop a sense of responsibility, they are more likely to change bad habits proactively.
  • Parents can try to guide children to think about the impact of their behavior on others, for example:
    • “If you get up late in the morning, will it affect mom and dad’s work?”
    • “If you procrastinate on tasks, will it affect your homework time?”

III. Case Discussion: How to Distinguish Between Real and Fake Procrastination?

1. Case Analysis:

• Sister Moon’s Sharing:
  • She herself is not a procrastinator, thanks to her mother’s influence, having developed good habits from a young age.
  • She points out that children’s procrastination needs to be distinguished between real and fake:
    • Fake Procrastination: Children spend a long time on activities they enjoy but do not delay important tasks, such as singing or relaxing during a bath.
    • Real Procrastination: Children lack a sense of time when doing tasks, needing repeated reminders or even scolding to complete them, such as dawdling in the morning.
• Mom’s Confusion:
  • The child always gets up very slowly in the morning, even when woken up half an hour earlier, they still get up just in time.
  • The child takes too long to bathe, but enjoys it.
• Expert Advice:
  • Dr. Zhou:
    • A child’s difficulty in getting up in the morning may be related to their constitution, such as insufficient yang energy or spleen deficiency, especially noticeable during the rainy season.
    • If it’s not a physical issue, then it’s necessary to start with habit formation, for example:
      • Parents should lead by example, getting up early and managing time well, setting a good example for the child.
      • Guide the child to realize that morning time can be used for meaningful activities, such as reading or exercising, to cultivate time management awareness.
  • Sister Moon:
    • If the bath time is long but doesn’t affect other things, the requirements can be relaxed appropriately.
    • If the child needs repeated reminders to get up in the morning, measures should be taken to help them develop good habits.

IV. Methods to Overcome Procrastination: Growing Together with Children

1. Methods for Adults to Overcome Procrastination:

• Teacher Luo:
  • List tasks daily, check off each completed task, and try to finish them before the end of the workday.
  • By doing this, she not only improved her work efficiency but also set a good example for her child.
• Dr. Zhou:
  • Spend time planning each morning, prioritizing tasks, and doing the most important ones first.
  • Use spare time to handle small tasks, such as washing dishes or making phone calls while walking.
  • Set the phone to silent mode during focused work to avoid distractions and increase efficiency.

2. Methods to Cultivate Good Habits in Children:

• Sister Moon’s Suggestions:
  • Set a Goal List: Create a goal list with the child and break down the goals into small steps, for example:
    • For elementary school homework: Set a completion time for each subject, such as 45 minutes for math, 45 minutes for Chinese, etc.
  • Time Management: Start timing after setting the time, helping the child understand the concept of time and goals.
  • Reward System: If the child completes tasks on time, give them rewards, such as storytelling or doing something they enjoy.
  • Persistence in Habit Formation: It takes 28 days to form a habit, so persist in cultivating it, and the child can develop good habits.
• Sister Ding’s Suggestions:
  • Establish a Sense of Rules: Set rules together with the child and enforce them gently but firmly.
  • Avoid Negative Criticism: Reinforce the child’s good behavior and avoid negative criticism and nagging, as negative energy can affect the child and reinforce bad behavior.
• Dr. Zhou’s Suggestions:
  • Parents Lead by Example: Parents’ behavior has a significant impact on children, for example, a father helping with housework can subtly influence the child.
  • Leverage Others’ Influence: Praise from others is more effective than parental lectures, for example, a neighbor’s compliment can motivate the child to do things more actively.

V. Methods to Help Children Overcome Difficulty in Getting Up

• Sister Moon’s Experience:
  • Use gentle methods to wake the child, such as soft calls, kisses on the cheek, and hugs.
  • Use games or things the child is interested in to entice them to get up, such as tickling with cold hands or using a pretty dress, going for a run to see flowers, etc.

VI. Conclusion

☆1. Responsibility is the Key to Change: Guiding children to realize the impact of their behavior on themselves and others can help them overcome procrastination.
☆2. Distinguish Between Real and Fake Procrastination: Understanding the reasons for a child’s procrastination can lead to more effective measures.
☆3. Parents Lead by Example: Parents’ actions have a subtle influence on children.
☆4. Cultivate Time Management Awareness: Help children make plans and learn to manage time effectively.
☆5. Establish a Reward System: Appropriate rewards can motivate children to develop good habits.
☆6. Gentle Yet Firm Sense of Rules: Avoid negative criticism and reinforce good behavior in children.
☆7. Leverage Others’ Influence: Affirmation and encouragement from others can boost a child’s confidence and motivation.
☆8. Pay Attention to the Child’s Constitution: Understand potential constitutional issues in children and take appropriate measures.

By using these methods, parents can more effectively help children overcome procrastination and impulsiveness, cultivate good time management skills and a sense of responsibility, laying a solid foundation for their growth and development.